No Balls but it's Cricket (OWZAT!) Album
The first song is about the hero of the One Day World Cup - Glenn Maxwell - one of the greatest all rounders in Australian cricket history alongside Andrew "Roy" Symonds and Shane Warne - astonished the world with his Maxwell Snatch - snatch, throw and catch! What a catch!
That's right! He snatches the ball that's soaring over the boundary rope for six - climbing into the air as effortlessly as a monkey climbs a tree - then, while airborne, tosses it back high in field, then jumps back over the rope and catches it in the field, and the batsman is out. OWZAT!
So this cricket song, also called Owzat! (Is there Sex after Death?) is written in celebration of Glenn Maxwell's athleticism and artistry, by Cheeky Monkey and the Little Shits, in the larrikin humour enjoyed by all three.
This cricket song comes with a book that shows you how to shit naturally, without needing drugs. Use laughing as your laxative! Normally valued at $77, you can learn to conquer constipation as naturally as a monkey climbs a tree.
You see, what comes in must go out. So if you have three meals a day you need to have three bowel motions a day. If you only have two you are constipated. 90% of Aussies are constipated!
Cheeky Monkey tried Martial Arts but got Kung Flu. He loves cricket because, when bowlers get old, they go batty.
Click here on the monkey face, listen closely and laugh.
To hear this whole, catchy song, dedicated to Glenn Maxwell, click here on the "Add to Cart" button and GO BANANAS.
No Balls but it's Cricket
Do you love Shane Warne? He loved Aussie slang!
So No Balls but it's Cricket, by Aussie Slang and the Red and Pink Balls, is a larrikin song that will spin your head around! Play it in your dressing shed!
To hear this whole, ballsy song, dedicated to Shane Warne, click here and GO BANANAS!
Toilet Music for Constipated Loveers
Cheeky Monkey - half cheeky by his mother - Astrid Zeknickers - and half monkey by his father's brother - Johnson N Johnson - never wanted to be an Ape. He wanted to be a Sexy Vegan, but failed the medical.
So he wrote Toilet Music for Constipated Lovers, by Cheeky Monkey and the Little Shits - a comedy song with five verses that get funnier as you listen further. Listen closely.
Sing along with shitty songs to laugh out your stress, tension and all that shit! Laugh to let go. Laughing is the best medicine!
To hear more and laugh your farts out, click here and GO BANANAS.
Toilet Music for Constipated Kids
Sing these shit and pee words to your little monkeys and get them to join it. Breathing massages the bowels, and laughing is boosted breathing!
Cheeky Monkey has written over 1,000 songs - most of them totally crap - and over 200 books, such as How to be Shorter by Neil Down, Crossing Roads Safely by Luke Bothways and How to be Taller by Stan Dupp.
So he wrote Toilet Music for Constipated Kids. Click here, listen closely and giggle and shriek.
To hear this whole, funky monkey song go the FUNKY MONKEY.
Pecan and Olive Beetroot Stew
Yes, you can boost your iron with Borscht, a Russian soup, and this song shows you how to make it. It's a recipe in song! As well, you can learn how to free your fat and shed excess weight by massaging reflex points for hormones!
Even better, you can realise that tahini (sesame seed paste) has 3-4 times the iron of red meat, so instead of a woman between 15 and 50 eating 7-8 steaks a day, she can get her iron needs fulfilled by 3-4 heaped tablespoons of tahini a day. How easy is that!?
Cheeky Monkey loves Russian comedians, like Raz Putin, so he wrote a song about Borscht called Pecan and Olive Beetroot Stew, which gives you masses of iron for pumping iron like Raz Putin. Click here, put your ape-ron on and listen closely for the recipe.
To hear this whole, yummy song click here, listen throughout and laugh at the surprise, Raz Putin ending. Go BANANAS.
To free your diaphragm with 10 minutes of deep, belly laughing, click here now to hear the whole, cheeky album with its bonus items, normally valued at $177, or less if you follow Jesus.
No Balls but it's Cricket - the whole album
If you wish to follow Jesus, press FOLLOW now.
You see, Jesus is Cheeky's Doberman and he loves Cheeky.
Surprisingly, one dark, stormy night, a burglar stole his way into Cheeky's lounge room. Suddenly he heard a big voice. "JESUS!"
The burglar stood still, silently, his heart pounding. After a few minutes he turned on his torch. "JESUS!" he heard again.
He shone his torch in the direction of the voice, and saw a parrot. "Is your name Jesus?" he asked.
"No," replied the parrot. "I'm God. Jesus is the Doberman at my feet. Do you follow?"
At that moment the Dobeman uttered a low growl, stood up and trotted between the burglar's legs , and out the front door.
The parrot squawked "Now will you follow Jesus?"
The burglar turned and followed Jesus out to the front gate.
All of his fears left him.
Whereupon the Doberman wagged his tail and trotted back into the house, and sat at the feet of God.
Cheeky Monkey LOVES the value of this whole album, because he's giving away five Bonus Items with it at amazing Grrrrlla value.
With this album you receive the hilarious lyrics of all five songs, including the recipe in song for iron-rich Borscht - normally valued at $3 - called Toilet Lyrics for Constipated Choirs.
With No Balls, but It's Cricket you receive the Bullshitometer - how to Test your Foods for Best Nutrition - normally valued at the Monkey Business price of $14.
With OWZAT! (Is there Sex after Death?) you receive a book - normally valued at $77 - called Toilet Hormones for Constipated Monkeys.
With Toilet Music for Constipated Kids you receive a poster - normally valued at $6 - called Toilet Poster for Constipated Monkeys.
With Pecan and Olive Beetroot Stew you receive another book - Fat Freeing Hormones for Constipated Gorillas - normally valued at $77.
Plus, with the whole album, you receive a total value of ONLY $7.77. OOOPS! Jesus just changed the price!
"Why?" Cheey howled.
God (my parrot) said "Because Jesus wants the poor to have a chance to have access to your unique information".
Cheeky said "But I'm poor. I'm homeless. I need the money to buy a tree house."
God (my parrot) said "Money doesn't grow on trees, it grows on people. So stop trying to build a money tree and build a people tree, with fruit bowls underneath it. You may wonder at the abundance of God's droppings."
Cheeky said "How long before I can put the price up and get the real value of the songs plus the Bonus Items?"
God (my parrot) said "That depends on Jesus, and when he wants to come back and launch. Soon, soon."
Jesus said nothing. Dobermans don't talk.
That's a total of $177 for all five songs - plus their Bonus Items - for a price of $7.77! That's over 10 times less than the true value. To get this bargain as a pre-launch special right now, fill your Banana Basket.
Listen, laugh and share! It could be the highlight of your next party!