Have you noticed that smokers have more wrinkles than non-smokers? They age more quickly.

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And have you noticed that some monkeys get more wrinkles more quickly than others even though they don't smoke? In fact, over 30% of the population die by the age of 39. Why?

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Bad Baboon Breathing. With every breath you acidify your body, accumulating toxins which damage your cells. And the choice to breathe alkaline is only one breath away!

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Four types of breathers

1 Unconsciously Incompetent. You ask them to open their airway and they reply "How?" You ask them to take a big breath and they expand their chests. You ask them if they know how to breathe and they reply "I've been doing it all my life." They don't know that they need training in breathing.

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2 Consciously Incompetent. They know they need training but don't know how to stop being "short of breath". They need training in Laughing Monkey Medicine. To learn more, press the BANANA button now.

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3 Consciously Competent. They know how to breathe well and do it when asked. They need training in specific, breathing techniques, such as the one to conquer your cramps, including leg cramps (running, or sleeping), asthma (cramping of the smooth muscles of your lungs), angina (cramping of your heart muscle), stitch, migraine (cramping of your blood vessel walls) and birth pain (much of which is due to cramps).

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4 Unconsciously Competent. They breathe well even when you don't ask them. They need training in specific breathing techniques, such as the one to relieve upper abdominal tension.

There are 14, basic, Buzz Breathing techniques, 14 advanced and 14 x 14 = 196 Seven Element Techniques altogether. For example, you can breathe specifically to rejuvenate your eyes.

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As your breathing improves you will move through these four stages - from incompetent, dis-ease filled, stressed out slaves of time, circumstances and other's wants to centred, powerful, laughing monkeys. Firstly, however, let's look at the biology of breathing, so that you know exactly how your body works.

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Yes, your lungs are in your chest. BUT most of the muscles that you use to breathe well are in your belly. They are called CORE muscles. You use them to laugh, shit, pee and thrust, hence the song Toilet Music for Constipated Lovers.

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If you don't understand the biology of breathing - that is, you think that your lungs are in your chest so chest movement indicates good breathing - go to the page called Muscles of Breathing. Press the BANANA button now.

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if you do understand the biology of breathing - that your lungs are in your chest but your main breathing muscles, including your diaphragm, which pulls 75% of your oxygen in, and your abdominal muscles, which push your carbon dioxide out, are abdominal - you go to Laughing Monkey Medicine and learn to laugh. When you laugh your tongue moves forwards naturally, opening your airway, and your abdominal muscles work correctly to push air out of your lungs. To learn more, press the BANANA button now.

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Then, because of need, your in breath begins in your abdomen because you use your main breathing muscle - your diaphragm - first and your secondary breathing muscles (intercostals) second.

And then you practise the first  Tongue Positions as given in the videos there. They activate reflexes in your body that make you breathe out more than in, so that you then begin your in breath with your diaphragm. In this way you retrain yourself out of Bad Baboon Breathing and into the natural, God-given use of your physiology that you need to stay well. 

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Your Breath Training Pathway

Begin with Laughing Monkey Medicine. Once you have mastered breathing the benefits of natural health and healing with be fully open to you. Even if you've tried a healing modality - such as Reflexology - before and it didn't do much for you, after you correct your breathing it will. To learn more, press the BANANA button now.